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Смешно 5
Masta: New version)) kak i obeshal))) ooo daaaa ia voidu v istoriu)))
LeShiY: #604335 +(1687)- [X] <raela> man today in bio when I was actually paying attention I heard the best owned story <raela> this girl learned about blood typing and how to do genetic crosses with it <raela> so she got all excited, went home, and found out her and her parents blood types from her mom <raela> she then realized there was no way possible her dad was related to her <raela> or at least, not the father <raela> it took her awhile to get her mom to admit it >:D Жестокая история
Viper: basher.ru: Света не светит, Маша не машет, Люба не любит, Вера не верит, Катя не катит, одна Даша молодец
sniff: Five Minute Mnagement Course *Lesson 1:* A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel. " After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies. "Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?" *Moral of the story:* If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure. *Lesson 2:* A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory." *Moral of the story:* If you are not well informed in your! job, you might miss a great opportunity. *Lesson 3:* A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish." "Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Puff! She's gone. "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Puff! He's gone. "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch." *Moral of the story:* Always let your boss have the first say. *Lesson 4* An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?" The eagle answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. *Moral of the story:* To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up. *Lesson 5* A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree. *Moral of the story:* Bull **** might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.. *Lesson 6* A little bird was flying south for the Winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him. *Morals of the story:* (1) Not everyone who sh*** on you is your enemy. ! (2) Not everyone who gets you out of sh** is your friend. (3) And when you're in deep sh**, it's best to keep your mouth shut! THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE
Viper: sniff Последняя - ГЫ))))
Roooo: Доброе старое)
Viper: [Bash.org] <vee> I went to buy the 7th harry potter at midnight <vee> I was the first in line <vee> the first thing I did when I got it was i opened it to the last page <vee> Then I screamed out SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE! <vee> Everyone freaked out <eric> That's mean! <vee> It took them a few minutes to figure out I said the ending of the 6th book меня порадовало )) <+HoCkster> I got an official warning from my bank <+HoCkster> I usually pay my rent as "Columbian Drug Money", they never objected <+HoCkster> but then I forgot my mates cell phone number, <+HoCkster> we were both doing internet banking at the same time right <@Lilzvixen> welcome to my room <+HoCkster> so I give him a 1 cent payment going "What's your number" <+HoCkster> and we start having this whole conversation <+HoCkster> it was like webchat <+HoCkster> so like 87 payments later, the bank rings me up and were like <+HoCkster> "have you thought of getting MSN?" ЫЫ )) А следующее полностью понятно будет тока тем кто читал властелина колец в оригинале <Snakeman^Engineer> Do I sense some hatred towards Windows Vista originating from your direction? <Chrysalid^Revenge> Oh no, not at all * Chrysalid^Revenge stands up in a medieval recitation pose <Chrysalid^Revenge> "OS X for the Mac users, pretentious in their coffeeshops <Chrysalid^Revenge> Gentoo for the nerd-lords in their mother's basement <Chrysalid^Revenge> XP for the everyday user, bound to muck around with bloody settings and registry values they should damn well leave alone <Chrysalid^Revenge> Then Vista from the Dark Lord behind his desk <Chrysalid^Revenge> In the Microsoft office, where crappy programming is performed <Chrysalid^Revenge> One OS to eat your RAM, One OS to spy on your digital media <Chrysalid^Revenge> One OS to screw them all, and in frustration bind them <Chrysalid^Revenge> In the Microsoft office, where crappy programming is performed" <Sectoid^Authopsy> Whoa!
RC: Viper пишет: кто читал властелина колец в оригинале По-моему, достаточно эпиграф прочесть =))
grater: у меня создается впечатление, что люди в МИЭФе живут на уровне подсознания
sniff: володя не вые***ся
zhek:
zhek: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4dHaOwC_4No magic fridge
Экси: A tribute to november mock (jpg)
DreW: зачет)
Viper: http://www.onemorelevel.com/games.php?game=340 Красивая игрушка ^^
LeShiY: Очередные глупые законы
violet: http://style.rbc.ru/events/2007/11/07/39367.shtml
zhek:
damngringo: zhek , ага, он типа шутки шутит, сам не встал вступать
Masta: heheheh) da vse mi tam budem))
damngringo: Masta ну вступай тогда
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